


Don't let us go

by yourhomewrecker



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Light Angst, They had a fight, sligth AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-07 00:30:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16397990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourhomewrecker/pseuds/yourhomewrecker
Summary: "And if there's any single part of you, that still loves me, and still want to try this out, I would be the happiest man on earth." He finished his sentence and stopped his head for a few seconds. She made herself the same question, was she able to forgive him and try again? "I'd love to."Or, Jake and Amy have a huge fight and, is this end?





	Don't let us go

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first fic ever so please be nice with me. I hope you guys like it and if you do feedback would be great :)

Don't let us go 

 

It was raining outside. Amy could hear the pouring rain even with windows closed. It seemed that the sky was crying just like she was. At least she could say that they had that in common. She wondered what reasons the sky could possibly have to cry like that, maybe saving the human race with water? Perhaps. She knew her reasons to be crying, and even though their reasons weren't the same, they were still sharing tears, and that made her heart feel a little warmer. 

She got off bed, directing herself to a very needed shower. She felt the hot water get in touch with her skin and for a moment she allowed herself to relax. She let her tears get mixed with the steaming water of her shower and screamed. She screamed until her lungs were empty, she could feel more tears dropping from her eyes, but she didn't care, all she cared was finding a way to get all that pain off her chest. All the pain, all the suffering, all the doubt, all the confused feelings, she tried to get rid of all that, with a simple scream. But she failed. She closed her eyes while the water was running through her body. She let the smell of her soap get in touch with her nostrils and ran a hand through her wet hair. 

That was something she did when she was nervous, she ran a hand through her hair. And anyone could say at that moment that Amy was very nervous. She felt this ache in her heart, like someone had thrown thousands of arrows at her chest. She felt empty, she felt like there was nothing holding her in this earth, all she wanted to do was give up. Everything would be so much easier if she just gave up. Everything would be so much easier if she just took all that love inside her heart and threw it away. Bury all of it in the moon dust, and all of it would be so much easier. Like she could ever do that. 

She was stuck with him. Her heart was stubborn and it wasn’t ready to let go yet. Despite the pain, despite the shame, her heart was stupid and was still in love with him. No matter what he did, no matter how many times he shattered her very strong heart, she would still be madly in love with him, no matter what her brain thought of the idea. It was something she couldn't help it, if she could choose, she would choose to throw away all the love she had inside her heart, but that wasn't how things worked, he wouldn't get out of her heart that easily, it didn't matter how much she wanted to. 

She got out of her shower and changed to her most comfortable pair of pajamas and went to hide away behind the covers of her bed. She didn't feel like eating that day, all she wanted to do was hide away from her problems until they disappear. It was too early to sleep and she also wasn't feeling sleepy at all. She was indeed, very tired, but for some reason — probably stress —, she didn't feel like she could sleep. So, she just laid there in her bed, with her thoughts hammering her head with all the force they had. She was feeling more and more tired as her thoughts kept pounding into her head. She was, until she heard a knock at her door, several actually. She just wished for a moment she could be one of those persons who doesn't answer the phone when they're upset or didn't answer the door in occasions like that, but she wasn't. It could be something important. 

She regretted as soon as she did it. There he was. His blue plaid shirt was wrinkled and he smelled alcohol, there was a huge bulge under his eyes like if he had spent a long time crying, she figured she looked the same. She took a long time to observe his figure. His brown curly hair was messier than usual and his beautiful brown eyes were filled with pain and regret, she watched carefully his rosy lips and how they were forming a straight line. She could still feel the smell of his aftershave mixed with his cologne, he looked a mess, a very, very handsome mess, and she contained the urge she felt to kiss all the pain away. They remained silent for a couple seconds, then she said: 

"What are you doing here?" Her voice was raw and weak. He didn't answer her, she waited a couple more seconds, expecting to see any reaction from him, but nothing. He was still like a statue and this was starting to get on her nerves. "Aren't you going to say anything?" Once again, he said nothing so she was just about to close the door on his face when she first listened to the sound of his voice. 

"Could you please let me in?" His voice was low and for a moment she felt sorry for him. He seemed to be as much in pain as she was, maybe she had been a little too harsh on him, maybe she shouldn't have said all those mean stuff to him, maybe he was actually sorry. Maybe... 

She cleared the space so he could enter her apartment and he sat at the first small chair he could see. It was probably the alcohol kicking in. The atmosphere was tense and Amy didn't really know what to do so she remained still, standing up in front of him. She watched as he ran a hand through his hair and looked down. It seemed like he was building the courage to say something, and that was consuming everything that was left in his body so she gave him his time. She gave him the time he needed to put his feelings in order and say something. 

"I'm sorry..." Was all he said. 

"Really?" She chuckled weakly, he had to be fucking kidding with her. She couldn't believe he had come to her house waste her time like that, she could be crying and wailing at that moment, although she probably wouldn't admit that even to herself, she liked his company, even in moments like that. 

"Look, I know I screwed up," he started finally meeting her gaze. He had this weird anger in his eyes, something sparkling inside of him, something burning like never before. Amy admitted that she felt a little scared when his eyes finally met hers. She felt so small, she felt so tiny and helpless, she had never seen him like that before. "I know I did something bad and I messed things up, you made that very clear" , his last words made her feel sick of the stomach. Maybe she was a little harsher than necessary with him, maybe he didn't need to hear all that stuff. "But still, I'm here, probably because my stupid ass heart likes suffering too much, he likes when you crush him, you know?" He had a tiny smile for once and Amy felt something weird inside of her chest, some heat. "I know there's no excuse for what I did, and that's why I'm not giving you one, but..." He made a pause. For the second time he ran one his hands through his brown hair than moved his hand to cover his mouth, he looked nervous, he looked numb because of the alcohol, he looked and mess, and Amy felt that in her heart. "I'm here because," tears started to appear in his eyes and Amy felt hers coming back as well. "I fucking love you," he said with a sigh like he was taking a huge burden out of his chest, and Amy couldn't help but smile at his words. "And if there's any single part of you, that still loves me, and still want to try this out, I would be the happiest man on earth." He finished his sentence and stopped his head for a few seconds. She made herself the same question, was she able to forgive him and try again? She knew she still loved him, there was no single doubt about that, but was she able to just start again, "I'd love to." 

She sat by his side and ran both hands through her hair and leaned her head down. Was she really able to start everything from scratch? Did she really had that power of just pressing the 'reset' button and pretend like everything never happened? 

She tried to imagine her life without him. She could see it, she would still have her job, she would still have her friends and they would go out and hang out, but she would come home to an empty bed, she would sleep alone for the rest of her life because she couldn't imagine someone else occupying his place. She would have lonely nights, and she would have cold lonely nights. She tried to imagine herself in this timeline smiling and having the fun she has every time he tells her a joke or do something funny to get a smile out of her. But she couldn't. She could survive without him, but she couldn't live. 

"I'll really understand if you're completely mad at me and doesn't want to see me ever again, I won't be hurt, I think I just have to accept my mistakes and live with the consequences." He said after she spent a really long time without saying a word, she was confused, and she was tired, but she grabbed his hand. She didn't say anything she just grabbed his hand and caressed her with her thumb slowly. She felt his chest let go of an air he didn't even know he had on his lungs. "Please don't let us go," he whispered. 

She kept stroking his hand and thinking. She wasn't able to live without him, she was stuck with him for the rest of her life and that was something she could do. She could start over, she wanted to, she really wanted to simply start it all over again. No pain, no regrets, no shame, no betrayal, no yelling. Just happiness, and joy, and soft kisses, and rough kisses, she wanted everything with him, and she was willing to start it all over again. 

"Hi, I'm Amy, how are you?...

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback would be really nice :)  
> Love you guys!


End file.
